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| Courtesy of Universal |
Peter Berg has a
surprisingly strong track record as a director, using his experience as an actor
to pack a lot of memorable performances into underrated action flicks like The
Rundown and The Kingdom. But he’ll always have my respect for directing the outstanding Friday Night Lights and creating the even better television version.
That’s why his
decision to helm Battleship, the $200 million adaptation of the famous board
game, is so baffling to me. Hollywood already has one Michael Bay, and some
would argue that’s one too many. Nevertheless, Berg’s latest movie is so evocative
of Bay’s Transformers flicks that you could easily make it a sequel by
changing a few character names. It’s not awful, but I still don’t understand
why it exists.
Talyor Kitsch (from
the aforementioned FNL series) plays Alex Stone, the screw-up main character
from every clichéd action movie you’ve ever seen. Everyone he knows, from his
brother (Alexander Skarsgard) to his girlfriend (Brooklyn Decker) to his
commanding officer (Liam Neeson, in the movie for maybe seven minutes), keeps
telling the audience that he’s smart and has a good heart, but he’s just too
much of a loose cannon, darn it.
Alex even manages to screw
up the Navy, despite how much he loves being a part of it. He’s set to be
kicked out following the annual war games exercise, but that’s put on the
backburner when aliens invade Hawaii. (I’m assuming the studio didn’t want to diminish
worldwide grosses by making the enemy a specific country. Extraterrestrials don’t
buy movie tickets.) I wonder if Alex will finally grow up and help save the
world?
If
Berg took the job to prove he had a grasp on mega-budget CGI, mission
accomplished. Battleship is great from a visual standpoint. But it’s also a
perfect example of the typical soulless summer blockbuster, aside from decent
performances by Kitsch and his FNL co-star Jesse Plemmons.
I’m
talking about the way-too-long running time (131 minutes), pointless subplots
(scientists, rehabilitation walks) and unnecessary cast members awkwardly
wedged in to appeal to every possible demo (Decker, Rihanna). You’ve seen
everything the movie has to offer a million times before.
That
is, until the third act – which is absolutely bonkers. I still can't decide
whether it's genius or the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Audience members in
the screening I attended were in hysterics, but I couldn’t tell if they were
laughing with the movie or at it. The last 30 minutes make me recommend Battleship with hesitation, but only if you pay matinee price.
Battleship is rated PG-13
for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language.
Grade: C+
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