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| Courtesy of Paramount |
G.I.
Joe: Retaliation is pretty bad, but it’s still a vast improvement over its
predecessor. At this rate, the third one might actually be good. Hey, it worked
out for the Fast and the Furious series. The studio even seems to be following
that franchise’s blueprint by bringing Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson into the fold.
2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra got the cartoony feel of the property right, but
it was more sci-fi than action flick. Instead of traveling a similar route, director
Jon M. Chu and screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (the guys behind my
beloved The Joe Schmo Show) scale down the story and jettison all the characters
except for a handful of key heroes and villains.
The
story kicks off with the President (Jonathan Pryce) – actually a Cobra baddie disguised
as the President – ordering the termination of the G.I. Joe unit due to
treason. Soon, only a handful of Joes are left. Roadblock (Johnson), Lady Jaye
(Adrianne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) swear revenge and set out to discover
the real reason behind the attack.
Meanwhile,
Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Jinx (Elodie Yung) are tasked with tracking down the
mysterious Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) and learning about his past. Finally,
the two teams must unite to prevent Cobra Commander (Luke Bracey) from
destroying the world. Oh, and they get some help from Gen. Joe Colton (Bruce
Willis), the guy who inspired the team’s name.
That
synopsis may sound like gibberish, but honestly it doesn’t matter. Bad buys do
bad things. Stuff blows up. Johnson and Willis smirk. Cotrona does a great impression
of a cardboard cutout. Palicki is staggeringly gorgeous. There’s an amusing cameo
from Walton Goggins (Justified). If that’s all you need from an action movie,
you’ll be entertained.
For
me, there’s not enough excitement to outweigh the feeling that the franchise
just feels unnecessary. Yes, there is an absolutely phenomenal action sequence involving
ninjas fighting and flying on wires across mountaintops. But it has almost
nothing to do with the overall plot. It’s this flick’s version of the first
installment’s sci-fi elements. There’s not enough heft to the military aspect
of the story, so unrelated ingredients are thrown into the mix to distract the
audience.
Those
elements may be fun, but they’re nonsensical in the context of the narrative. But
who am I kidding? It’s probably my fault for expecting logical storytelling in a
flick inspired by a Saturday morning cartoon.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation is rated
PG-13 for intense sequences of combat violence and martial arts action
throughout, and for brief sensuality and language.
Grade:
C+
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