JASON EVANS' 100-WORD REVIEWS: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Courtesy of Warner Bros.

William Penn once famously said, “Time is what we want most, but... what we use worst.” So, in an effort to not waste your time, film critic Jason Evans is attempting to pare his movie reviews down to exactly 100 words… not 99, not 101, 100 words. Today he reviews Godzilla: King of the Monsters.

The Premise: Set five years after the events of 2014's Godzilla, this picture pits the giant lizard against several other Titans, including flying Rodan and the three-headed dragon King Ghidora. The secretive Monarch organization (led by scientists Bradley Whitford and Ken Watantabe) has been tracking these giant beasts all over the planet and thinks Godzilla will keep the Titans from destroying our world. Thrust into the middle off the mayhem are husband-wife scientists Kyle Chandler and Vera Farmiga, who lost their son when Godzilla last appeared. The film also stars Millie Bobby Brown as their daughter and Charles Dance as an eco-terrorist who wants to use the Titans to change the face of the Earth.

The 100 Words: When will Hollywood learn that destroying stuff is only fun when there is a story that makes us care about the destruction? This film has several cool monster mayhem moments, but the script is nonsense. The rules of physics, geography, and time seem to not exist here and stuff happens just because the plot wants it to, not because it makes any logical sense. Whitford has some funny lines but the rest of the cast is given little to work with. There’s also surprisingly little monster action until the end of the film. Do yourself a favor and skip it.