 |
| Courtesy of Universal |
The
filmmaker who was once dubbed “the next Spielberg” by several gushing critics
(and perhaps his own publicist) made three genuinely good movies at the turn of
the century: The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs. After that,
Shyamalan delivered a decade-long string of cinematic experiences so dismal
that it’s almost impressive.
That’s
why I was cautiously optimistic heading into The Visit, his return to the
low-key thrillers that made him a household name. Certainly, the notoriously
prickly filmmaker learned his lesson after nearly destroying his career with
two high profile, massively budgeted flops (The Last Airbender and After
Earth).
The
guy had done his time in director’s jail. He’d taken his lumps from the
critics. Surely, he was due a decent movie. There was no way his grand return
to the genre he’s famous for would coast on cheap gimmicks or lazy jump scares.
I
was wrong. I was so, so wrong. The Visit is a strong contender for worst
movie of the year.
Shyamalan’s
unsettling story, in its most basic form, is ripe for slowly escalating tension
and out-of-nowhere scares. Instead, the seeds of its interesting plot sprout
into a ridiculous final act that culminates in a ludicrous climax and an even dumber
resolution.
Aspiring
filmmaker Becca (Olivia DeJonge) and wannabe rapper Tyler (Ed Oxenbould) are teenage
siblings sent to stay with grandparents (Deanna Dunagan and Peter McRobbie)
they’ve never met while their mother (Kathryn Hahn) goes on a cruise with her
boyfriend. The week starts out promising, with the elderly couple showering the
kids with attention and treats.
But
things gradually take a turn for the creepy as the grandparents begin
demonstrating bizarre behavior every night after the kids go to sleep. Rather
than heading for the exit as soon as they discover Pop Pop’s collection of used
adult diapers, or witness their stark-naked Nana clawing at the walls in the
middle of the night, the kids decide to set up a hidden camera instead. Wise
decision, kids. That’s much smarter than calling the cops or looking for the
closest neighbor.
Aside
from the lazy narrative shortcuts that ask smart kids to behave as if they have
head injuries, one of my biggest problems with The Visit is Shyamalan’s
decision to employ the found footage gimmick that all modern thrillers seem to
use. Let’s retire it at this point, filmmakers. It’s clearly played out.
What’s
worse, Shyamalan isn’t even consistent with it – there are clearly a number of
establishing shots that the kids didn’t film. If you expect the audience to
believe we’re watching clips from Becca’s documentary, then who is capturing those
establishing shots?
My
other big issue with the film is that the final 15 minutes are mind-numbingly stupid.
But I can’t talk about why without getting into spoiler territory. Let’s just say
Shyamalan frustrates by failing to pay off some genuinely promising setups,
instead relying on the laziest explanation possible for the grandparents’ weird
behavior. It basically boils down to “yuck, old people are gross,” which is a
tired cliché at best and borderline offensive at worst.
I
feel bad for the actors, who are genuinely compelling and try their best to
turn Shyamalan’s trash into, well…not treasure, but at least sheet metal they
can get a few bucks for at a local scrap yard. Hahn is great – as always – in
her too-brief role.
DeJonge,
a young Australian actress I was previously unfamiliar with, is poised to have
a promising career. Her American accent is darn near impeccable and she
connects to that pain and awkwardness most of us remember from our teenage
years.
Oxenbould,
also Australian (I’m starting to notice a pattern here) and one of the best
parts of Disney’s unfairly maligned Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No
Good, Very Bad Day, steals the entire movie as the annoying little brother who
strives to be a great rapper but lacks the talent to pull it off. Neither he
nor DeJonge possess the typical cutesy child actor traits, and their
camaraderie makes them feel like real siblings.
Veteran
character actors Dunagan and McRobbie do what they can to instill their stock
villain characters with at least an appearance of humanity, but Shyamalan’s
dumb screenplay ultimately pummels them into submission. It’s a shame.
In a
recent conversation with a colleague, Shyamalan’s name came up and I talked
some trash about him. Immediately afterward, I was surprised to find myself
feeling a pang of guilt. “Come on,” I asked myself, “hasn’t he suffered enough?
Isn’t it like kicking a puppy at this point?”
After
making it out of The Visit alive, my answer to those questions is a
resounding no. He hasn’t suffered enough. I’m going to keep kicking. That’s
what he gets for wasting my time and everyone else’s with this nonsense. If I
wasn’t done with him before, I certainly am now.
The
Visit is rated PG-13 for disturbing thematic material including terror,
violence and some nudity, and for brief language.
Grade:
D
Comments
Post a Comment